How to Chat-Up a Charity Shop Manager

(Might be based on a true story…)


Charity begins at home.
So yours works locally? Good, I’m glad;
there are too many foreign beggars
we should simply leave to starve.

I’m glad this works in middle England;
we should only look out for our own;
it’s simple: let the others starve:
teach them to take responsibility.

We should only look out for our own.
I sold my parents’ stuff on eBay;
made me responsible online –
I had complaints about descriptions.

I shifted most of their shit on eBay.
I thought you’d like the stuff that’s left.
Why complain at my descriptions?
I have my rights, you know.

I thought you’d like the shit that’s left.
Desperate beggars would be glad of it.
I know my rights; I keep the rules:
charity begins at home.


I’m rattling around in the family mansion;
five bedrooms all empty; the Aga is cold.
I’m thirty and flirty and frightfully handsome
and you look just the woman to have and to hold.


The snow has melted, except for a few small patches on the northliest north slopes of North Hill.

Here’s a picture from the hills playing with the fake tilt-shift effect on the camera. My first time up there without Kassie.


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8 Responses to How to Chat-Up a Charity Shop Manager

  1. Poem – a good examination of some ways in which our political views differ. :). Though I now have two more bags for disposal. I already had: Landfill (Collected), Recycled (Collected), Textiles (Take), Old Electricals (Take), Bottles (Take). I now have Ebay (Distant Selling), Charity Shop (Local, chance to chat-up the manager and warm me Aga too). So I think I’ll simplify everything and take the lot to the charity shop… good poem, thanks for the tip ;)

    Apropos view – good pix in poor weather. Interesting shift/tilt perspective. And well done for venturing up solo – sorry you have to now but so many good memories (and pix). I know if she could be with you she would be – so go-ahead and walk the hills. Heck, you can even borrow Sir Edward as a companion sometime… then you’ll relish the peaceful times. Toodle Pip.

  2. I love the poem and would give it to some who hold those views ~ sadly, they probably wouldn’t ‘get it’ ~ nicely satirical.

  3. Ron says:

    Brilliant work lass. RIP Kass

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