What do you call an open mic without a mic?

What a couple of weeks it’s been. Found myself covering for someone sick at work. Then escaped to the Yorkshire Dales for a weekend with five other writers for writing, critiquing and some very pissed games of Articulate: wonderful. Then Step-Mum descended for a lovely few days – we had a fragrant outing to Coughton Court, Warwickshire (fantastic gardens, mmm) and, today, climbed British Camp (and then daughter and I walked all the way home: tired but happy).

With so much going on I missed the final for The Bard of Worcestershire on Friday night, opening event for the Worcestershire Literary Festival. And I’ve missed WLF events today, too, tch. But I did make it to the excellent, lively Smoke and Mirrors last night (after work) – with Step-Mum and husband in tow – for their performance poetry and open mic.

An open mic with (just for that night) no mic? Interesting. But a lovely crowd though I was even more nervous than usual: not only did I have Step-Mum watching but the wickedly straight-faced Steve Rooney spoke lovingly of white van drivers … and my first poem peddled the usual negative stereotype: bugger.

Misplaced Confidence Tricks

“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge”
Charles Darwin

Ignorance shall celebrate its certainty:
a foolish man will think he’s got it all,
while those with somewhat greater wit
will know that just ain’t possible.

White van man drives two feet from my bumper
because he’s fast enough to be the latest Stig.
He’s texting on his mobile to his “girlfriends”
and catching some attention from the pigs.

Bankers gamble with our money cuz we let them;
win bets how much we’ll worship at their feet
not realizing it’s all a jargon pyramid
and we’re the fall guys at the bottom of the heap.

PR executives and media top moguls
flash the cash and press the flesh to much acclaim
parading emperor-clad celebs in fantasies
blinkered to the hollow void of fame.

So I can say I truly am a poet
– and those who mock are merely jealous sods –
and white van man is certain he’s Adonis
and Rupert Murdoch KNOWS that he is God.

So, what do you call an open mic with no mic?

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4 Responses to What do you call an open mic without a mic?

  1. Ron says:

    You call it an “Open Acoust”

    Lovely work. You are a poet indeed, and yes, they’re just jealous.

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